You Should Set Out a Recovery Program
Throughout our lives we grieve over different things, not just death. When a child is shifted from one school to another and leaves behind old friends, the same process of grief continues. When a man loses his job, or when a marriage breaks down into separation, or when unfaithfulness breaks a bond between marriage partners, or when we lose either money or possessions or our physical abilities of hearing or seeing we grieve just as really as we do when we lose a loved one.
In all of these cases we should learn to recover from grief. This recovery must include six steps:-
EXPRESS YOUR GRIEF OPENLY
As we have said before, grief that is borne secretly in the heart has a habit of infecting the whole system. Tears are our sorrows in solution. Let your tears flow, relieving you of the burden of grief. When Jesus heard of Lazarus’ death, He wept.
THINK LIFE, NOT DEATH
Partly because of tradition and partly because of the practice of some undertakers, many people have the idea that viewing the body is a duty to be performed. Often this leaves strong visual images and a grieving person tends to think of that last image of death. But recovery requires that we think of the person in life, not in death. Many people say “We took him to the cemetery and left him there”. Christians believe he was not left there. His body was, but that is no more the true person than my coat is truly me when I hang it up on the door and go into the next room.
We consist of body, soul and spirit and your personality is much more than your body. Christians believe that when you die your body is eventually destroyed but the real you – that inner personality and spirit – lives on with God. Actually we tend to think that a person loses everything at6 death, but the Christian faith affirms that shedding of our old body with all of its infirmities only releases us to new life of perfect liberty with God. “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard neither has it entered into the heart of man the things that God has prepared for those who love Him”. (1 Corinthians 2:9).
RECOVER A SENSE OF HOPE
At this point in your experience hope seems to be far from you but the experience of many who have grieved, guided by the Christian faith, is that as sure as spring follows winter and day follows night, hope will return to a grieving soul. Paul’s concern was that “You may not grieve as others do, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 5:13). Your life needs to be rebuilt. It can be with hope in your heart, the Christian hope of eternal life and reunion with those who are held in God’s care.
TRY TO RE-ADJUST
Circumstances are different now. Things will not be exactly the same but because one player has now gone there is no need for the whole piano to be shut up and locked. Life needs to go on. You still have a part to play. Other people will take some of the parts previously played by your loved one. Don’t turn your home into a mausoleum. Pull up the blinds and let light in! Don’t keep rooms exactly the way they were but re-arrange things to start your life afresh. It may take a year to make the effort. The best way you will help yourself readjust to new life is to set out deliberately to accept new responsibility and to help other people. Let the music of your life continue to play.
DISCOVER PRAYER POWER
If there is one thing that you will need at this time, it is the valuable resources of God that are yours through discovering the difference that prayer makes. Praying regularly on all the ordinary things that concern you and for all the people who need your prayers, will lift you above yourself, give you new perspective over your problems and assure you that you are not on your own. Prayer assures you that with God’s power you can live your life well.
GAIN DAILY STRENGTH FROM THE SCRIPTURES
During that first terrible week use the spirit-lifters at the back of this book to add to your daily prayer and Bible reading. Generations of men and women have found in the scriptures the resources of God that they need.
There are many fine guides to Bible reading available. Your minister could help you with one of these in any Christian bookshop. Like finding gold, the more help we have in searching God’s word, the better.
Recovery does not just come. It must be made to come. Set out on this step by step program of personal recovery.