Cottee Lodge
My life has fallen into a few stages.
As a child, I lived in Box Hill when it was a Village. I then became pastor to the slums of Inner Melbourne for eight years. I was then a country parson and a teacher at a one teacher bush school out at Jackson Creek in Western Victoria and then for thirteen years, I was a suburban minister in one of Australia’s largest suburban ministries.
And now, for more than 20 years, I’ve been Superintendent in Sydney of Wesley Mission, Australia’s largest church ministry.
I’ve told you stories of people in each of these places.
Tonight I want you to come with me into the heart of the city.
I guess it was Gigi who started it all. One day Joy on the desk, where she handled the incoming calls and acted as receptionist, came around the corner and into my office to indicate there was a young woman called Gigi who was outside waiting to speak to me.
I went out to meet Gigi and invited her into my office. Gigi came straight out with it; “I want a hundred bucks off you because a friend of mine told me you would give it, and that you help kids like me.”
I thought Gigi was about 14 and a half, or maybe 15. She was heavily made up, chewing constantly on gum and wore very provocative clothing. Before I promised to help Gigi with anything I wanted to know a little bit more about her and began asking questions about where she lived and what grade she was in at school. She didn’t go to school and she didn’t live with her parents, in fact, she had no fixed place of address. She lived, as she said to me, “in a squat with some other people.” When I asked the reason for her request for $100 she said simply it was to buy food for the three of them.
I told her I was willing to help her, but to save her all the effort of going to the supermarket, I would arrange for one of my staff to pack a big cardboard box with all kinds of suitable food and I would give her $5 to buy some fresh milk and she would then be right for the next two weeks.
Gigi swore at me. She didn’t want food in a box, she wanted $100 cash.
That was my little test to find out whether she wanted money for drugs or not. Of course she wanted money for drugs.
I wouldn’t give her money for drugs because with $100 in her pocket, she would go out and score several hits of heroin and possibly overdose and be dead all within the next 30 minutes. I was always prepared to give people accommodation, food or clothing, but I wouldn’t give them cash that could be converted into more drugs or alcohol. That’s not helping them. Gigi looked at me very defiantly. “If you don’t give me the money, I’ll just go out and do a few tricks and earn it,” she said. I looked at her strongly and said; “Gigi, I know you can go out and prostitute yourself and earn the money and I don’t want you to do that. Not only is it bad for you in every way but it’s dangerous too. What is more, every man who touches you or has sex with you is committing a criminal offence. You are a child. You are underage.”
Gigi shot back at me defiantly; “I’m old enough and I am entitled to do what I like with my own body.”
I could her in her words the echoes of the women’s liberation movement who at that time were arguing that a woman’s body was her own possession and she was entitled to use it however she liked; whether to have an abortion or not and how she liked to use it sexually. Gigi had adopted the tone and the defiant attitudes of the liberationists.
“You might think that Gigi, but you are still a child, you are underage, you should be with your parents, and from the look of the sores all around your mouth, you already have sexually transmitted disease. What we really need to do with you is to get you into some medical treatment and help you get off the drugs.”
At that word, Gigi turned and literally ran out of my office and out of our building back onto the streets.
Over the next 30 minutes, I wrote in my diary a long list of things that we had to do to hep street kids like Gigi.
They needed medical attention, better food, secure accommodation, a strong education program, a restoration of the relationships with their parents even if they weren’t to return to the family home at least be reconciled with their parents, and some strong counselling and oversight to help them through what was going to be a very difficult year or two while they went through the process of detoxification and rebuilding their lives.
It was in that moment that the concepts of “Cottee Lodge” was born. It wasn’t long after that that I met Kathryn.
Kathryn was 16, destitute and pregnant. She and a group of other young teenagers lived together in a Kings Cross derelict building without water, electricity or gas. It might sound romantic but it is far from it. “We use candles for lights,” she said, “but at night it can be freezing.”
There were several thousand homeless teenagers in Sydney. About 500 of them earned their living as male or female prostitutes. Many of them have become the victims of drugs, vice and alcohol, and all of them suffer from degradation, despair and disappointment with themselves, their families, society and the world at large.
Frequently, we receive letters which say, “Will you please find Frank. He is 15, has blue eyes and …” The sad letters come from distraught parents, frequently in country areas.
Many teenagers in the provincial areas of Australia think that their hometown is a hole, and that Sydney with its bright lights and sophistication is wonderland. They have yet to learn that Sydney can be a dead end-trip to hell.
Someone brought to my attention the sale of a small convent in Ashfield. It had been established by a group of German nuns to provide residential care for girls on the streets of Sydney. The sisters had worked valiantly for years in providing such accommodation for young street girls. Unfortunately, the same financial woes that were besetting the Dalmar Children’s Home also beset them. Without the support of congregations and donors near by, they were unable to continue. I went and visited the sisters and I was greeted as if I was the answer to their prayers. For months they had been praying for a Christian organization who would provide help for young people living on the streets and if such a Christian organization were found they would sell their convent at a very reasonable price. I indicated that I had intentions of providing care for both young males as well as females and the sisters readily accepted that. After a time of praise and singing, we agreed on a price of $132,000, a very reasonable price for a building in good repair that had 18 bedrooms in it! The sisters did not want to make a profit. They wanted to cover their losses and return to Germany knowing that all they had worked for would continue in good hands. I agreed to buy the property even though at that stage I had no money whatever.
The Mission did not have the kind of money and I didn’t know where I could borrow it. It was then that a kind word from Harold S. Cottee indicated that his mother Lois might be able to help. With some fear and trepidation, I went to Mrs. Lois Cottee with the request would she give us $100,000 towards the purchase of an 18 bedroom house to care for street kids. Mrs Cottee was overjoyed to be asked. She had no hesitation whatever in helping us with this new development, which would be named Cottee Lodge in honour of her late husband.
As I left with my heart beating and walking six feet above the ground carrying boxes of goods that Lois had gathered for our next Spring Fair, she called out to me as I went down the stairs, “$100,000? Is that all? How much is it going to cost you?” I answered from the bottom of the stairs: “Well it is going to cost $132,000, but I felt I could only ask you for $100,000.”
“What a silly thing to do”, she said. “If you need $132,000, then ask me for $132,000, come back up here.” I walked up stairs, put down the cardboard boxes of goods for the Spring Fair and Lois wrote out a second cheque, this time for $32,000. The two cheques together totalled $132,000 and paid the entire cost of Cottee Lodge. For more than 20 years now Cottee Lodge has continued to meet the needs of homeless young people in the Ashfield area.
“Cottee Lodge”, the home for homeless youth, was established by Wesley Mission in 1983 and in its twelve months had 580 enquiries from homeless teenagers who want to live there. This is a 47% increase on the previous year. Unfortunately, we were only able to properly care for 94 homeless teenagers, but although we cannot solve all of the problems, we are doing wonderful work with part of the problem. We would go on from there and develop more than a dozen places for homeless youth through an independent living program, but “Cottee Lodge” was the first.
Wesley Mission provided three youth workers and a domestic helper who have the 24-hour-a-day oversight at Cottee Lodge in Ashfield when we first opened it.
We now have several hundred children who have been returned to their family or brought into contact once more with their family, who have found jobs or who have returned to school. Many have made significant spiritual commitments to Jesus Christ. One homeless runaway recently made a commitment to Christ, shared her counselling material with her mother who made further enquiries of our staff concerning the spiritual life, was given guidance and support and then the mother also made a commitment to Christ.
One young man, recently re-established with this family, came back specifically to ask how he too might become a Christian.
The late Harold W. Cottee, with his wife Lois, established a trust with the Dalmar Children’s Homes to meet the need of Sydney’s children and youth. Now through the ongoing generosity of the Cottee family, we were able to purchase a fine property in Ashfield to become Wesley Mission’s refuge for youth.
Cottee Lodge not only becomes a home for the homeless, but a shelter from emotional storms that force kids on to the street.
There are many reasons why teenagers run away from home. In Britain recently, at the British Maritime Museum at Greenwich, looking at the names and ages of the sailors on Captain Cook’s vessel, I realised that in previous years, runaway youth became the heroes of the British Navy. One of them was an ancestor of my wife, and he was only 14 at that time when he sailed with Captain Cook. Today, they become derelicts in the “squats” of Darlinghurst and Kings Cross.
These reasons are given to us frequently by street kids:
- “I can’t get on with my parents.” “I can’t stand my father calling me a dole-bludger. He keeps saying, ‘Get a job or get out’, so when I couldn’t get a job, I got out.”
- “I can’t get a job where I live.” In some areas, for every junior job available, there is an average of 84 applicants, and in the Hunter Region it was recently announced that there were 120 unemployed teenagers for every junior job available. This creates feelings of despair and hopelessness which lead young people to head for the city lights.
- Young people cannot live on an unemployment benefit that is below the poverty line. Many expend their entire unemployment benefit just on accommodation.
- Most runaways lack a stable supportive family relationship where there is plenty of communication between children and parents.
- Most of our runaways speak of never having been disciplined within their family, and now regret the laxity shown by their parents.
- Many of our runaways indicated that they have had inadequate preparation for life, or education in life’s skills which would enable them to survive in a world without work.
- There is a desperate shortage of low-cost accommodation in the community, which leads people leaving home to live in most undesirable circumstances.
“Youth Line” was provided by Wesley Mission as a crisis telephone service where young people in emergencies can ring and talk with a trained young person who is able to help them cope with their crises. The need of emergency accommodation is one of the primary reasons why 8,000 teenagers rang Young Line in a year.
What should parents do when they fear a child might run away?
FOUR BASIC WORDS
1.Listen. Most parents do too much talking at this time. Instead, hear what your teenager is saying, and ask questions so you can understand clearly his/her feelings. Teenagers are becoming adult and want their opinions heard.
2.Look. Note changes in their habits, attitude towards school, and new friends, and be observant to any changes in the pattern of life which might indicate that they want to move out of your home.
3.Love. This does not mean smother love, but security love. The teenage years are crisis years for many young people who turn out to be fine adults, but very few of them ever make it without warm security and the knowledge that they are welcome and belong in their own home.
4.Loosen. Loosen the tight reign upon your teenager. Loosen the authoritarian grip, and allow some freedom to express themselves and to venture beyond the well known path. To build too many fences will not keep them in, but encourage them only to escape.
When you are tempted to say, “When I was your age, …” stop yourself! You never were their age, in their world, facing their crises!
They have a difficult life and need all the understanding and support that you can give them.
A long way from where you are now, and at the end of what may be a downward journey, Wesley Mission is waiting and working. At the end of the telephone, in the city street, in the theatre foyer, at the youth refuge, members and staff of Wesley Mission care for the homeless. In the first five years, Wesley Mission spent on caring for homeless children, youth, refugees and adults over four million dollars! In the twenty years since that has escalated dramatically. We now have over 300 places where homeless people can stay and become free of drugs and abuse.
A large amount of this money has not been supplied by the Government. In fact, our staff get continually disheartened by the knockbacks from the State Government to share in our operational funding of such a fine youth refuge as Cottee Lodge. It is an ongoing battle to get enough money to care for the homeless.
Do all you can to prevent your child running away. But if the worst happens, you are not alone, because through Cottee Lodge and dozens of other places, Wesley Mission still seeks and cares for the runaway youth.
The city of Sydney would grow to be one of the world’s great cities and Wesley Mission would grow to be one of the world’s great churches and I was privileged to spend each day in the heart of both.
