Father’s Day Cards - controversial?
One of our UK-based readers forwarded an article to me from The Telegraph a few months back that I wanted to share. This article reports the news that primary schools across Scotland have now banned the making of Father’s Day cards in classrooms so that the activity will not unnecessarily embarrass the children of single mothers or lesbian couples.
This policy has been adopted throughout Scotland due to the growing number of children living with sole parents, or in same-sex households, and the schools’ sincere desire to be sensitive to them. Although I note that the same reasoning does not extend to the banning of the making of Mother’s Day cards, despite the existence of single fathers, and male same-sex homes. The heightened sensitivity now required only applies to children of female-headed households. According to the most recent census, about 7% of all children in Scotland live in single parent households.
Some schools have chosen to enact the Father’s Day card-making ban only on a class-by-class basis, depending on the knowledge of the teachers about the children’s family circumstances. They maintain that it is showing sensitivity to those children without fathers to avoid a group activity that would make them feel left out or socially inferior.
Family rights advocates have criticised this policy as damaging to fathers, claiming that it further undermines the role and significance of the father in modern life. They say it also sends a destructive message to the boys in the classroom that fatherhood is not important, when having a father in the home is known to be vitally important to the optimal psychosocial development of children.
Some people consider this policy to be ‘political correctness’ gone mad, but others may remember what it was like to be singled out by the teacher for some reason, and how humiliating it was – for children desperately want to be like their peers, to fit in, and not to stand out from the others. I just hope the policy is administered in a sensible matter.
As a former Australian Father of the Year, and the Parliamentary host of this year’s dinner where the new Australian Father of the Year will be announced, I have very strong feelings about, and a real commitment to, the honouring of fatherhood in our society.
And it makes more sense to me to continue the tradition of having children in the primary classrooms making cards for Father’s Day. After all, there have always been all kinds of fathers in the home, not just society’s ideal: abusive fathers, alcoholic and neglectful fathers, fathers just home from prison. And there have always been children living with their grandparents, or other relatives, due to difficult parental circumstances. In addition, most schools would have children who knew they were adopted. The teachers of old who knew these children’s circumstances did not cancel activities honouring Father’s Day.
But today, in our possibly more sensitive age, the teachers could perhaps introduce the day’s activity by briefly discussing the different types of families that exist, and have always existed, and then suggest that the children can make cards for whomever they wish. The teacher could suggest the children think of a favourite uncle, or one of their grandfathers, a male friend of the family, or an admired elder from church. Sadly, there is no way we can make up to these children for the pain of being without a father, but the subject can be addressed with awareness and sympathy. I think that is far preferable to ignoring the holiday altogether.
Being a child has always been hard, and I think that it is getting harder with the complexity of life in modern society. So holding on to the good traditions that society already has, like having school children make cards for Father’s Day, but perhaps just changing those traditions a little to keep up with the times, makes sense to me. What do you think?
